It has been a while since I've presented any kind of personal update. Part of that is the season-- it draws me out of the house and away from my computer, which is a good thing-- and part is lingering fallout from a recent cathartic
post. Not only were the comments problematic, but my ex also found out, and there were uncomfortable emails back and forth for weeks. As stupid as this makes me sound, I honestly thought he would be the last person in the world to read that blog, since he has always been profoundly uninterested in my ramblings even, when we were together.
This is not the first time I learned (usually the hard way) that my readership expands further than I thought it did into my "real life." And, this is not the first time I've contemplated revamping my approach to blogging.
Around 2004-2005 I started my first blog, which was written like a private diary, using fake names for everyone I discussed but hiding nothing else. Over time, I became more and more uncomfortable with this level of candor, since anyone who knows me that stumbled on my stories would immediately recognize them. While I don't tend to have major skeletons in my closet, I don't necessarily want to open everything for public viewing. So, I deleted that blog and started this one, which (believe it or not) is much less personal.
That's what inspired the handle "Appalachienne," which is a play on my former high school classmate's
Washingtonienne blog blunder. Although she turned lemons to lemonade by squeezing a career out of her bad reputation, that career (and reputation) couldn't be farther from what I want. To that end, I'm careful not to type my full name here, lest the blog turn up in Google searches, and I am a bit more careful with my words. But I still want to share who I am, and invite you into my process. It's a tricky balance, one which I don't always succeed at.
I often contemplate deleting the blog. That would be an easy fix to the whole dilemma. But it would also be such a shame. This silly little blog has become a part of me, and I've gone through a lot here-- the beginning and ending of major relationships, the birth and growth of my children, the budding of my goals in journalism, the beginning of a sober life, and much more...including the slow evolution of my writing.
So we'll see what transpires. For now I'm still here.
Oh, and in-line with the reasons I've given for slow posting, I'm being dragged through family court right now. It's hard to not talk about that, but I really can't talk about it, so sometimes it's easier to say nothing. Do cross your fingers for me, Friday morning, and more importantly for my boys.